Monday, May 23, 2011

Wedding Wednesday- Frazzled

Today marks the 11 day mark to our wedding. While this is a happy time in TLS's and my lives, blah blah, this is a time filled with lots of stress. Lots.

Here is my list of things NOT to say to a bride a week and a half before her wedding.

2) I want to sit with so and so...
I have been swamped with emails from people offering what they think are helpful tips on where they should sit. Except that they are not so helpful.

Exhibit A:
At my shower, two of my friends hit it off really well. They asked if they could sit together at my wedding. I knew that they had similar personalities and was planning on seating them at the same table. Not a problem whatsoever. Except, one of the girls kept on gchatting me trying to "remind me." When she did it again last week, I flat out told her, "I remembered the last 6 times you told me." She just laughed it off and said that she figured I would have forgotten with all of the wedding stress that I undoubtedly am having. How stressed out do you think I have to be to not remember the names of two of my friends?

Exhibit B:
My cousin emailed me asking if she could sit together with her fiance. Seriously. Where did she think I was going to seat him? With TLS's family?

Exhibit C:
A bit of a backstory here- my father had several close friends in college. They all stayed best friends and had children around the same time so the children are close as well. (One of the friends is my mother's cousin, which is actually how my parents met.)
Anyways, my cousin emailed me asking if she could sit together with her brother and her other parents' friends' children. Again, I was planning on seating them all together so not a problem. Now, here is where it gets interesting.

1) All of the "children" are fully grown. The youngest is 21. One of the children, EKB, is married and had her second child not to long ago. Another girl I was planning on putting at the table, JBK, was one of her bridesmaids. Well EKB was so rude to her re: wedding stuff and in general that now JBK refuses to sit with EKB. EKB wants to sit with her and my cousins.
2) JBK's late father's sister, her husband, their daughter, their daughter's husband, and their 21 year old daughter are coming to the wedding. JBK emailed me asking if she could sit with her aunt, uncle, and family at the wedding. It's not a problem except that she wants to sit with her 21 year old cousin also. Cousin has expressed to me that the last thing she wants to do at age 21 is sit with her parents and grandparents at the wedding. Argh.

3) The Reply By date was May 1st? When do you need to have my RSVP by?
May 1st. A friend who got married in January was complaining about how so many guests replied late and she had to track them down to get their RSVPs. Which is why I only got hers last night...

4) Can I ship my gift to your mother's house?
I'm not sure who this question annoys more- my mother or myself. My parents are fortunate to live in a 2 bedroom pre-war apartment, which means that their apartment is bigger than the average Manhattan apartment today. However, at the end of the day, it is still a  two-bedroom apartment. In between all of my stuff for living here for the month, various wedding stuff that has been arriving daily- our ketubah, our guest book, gifts for the bridal party, favors, etc. she is starting to feel like she's running a warehouse. She does not want to store any more stuff. I'm just concerned about schlepping gifts back to Germany. I brought an extra bag with me just in case, and I think TLS will have some room also, but I'm not sure how much.

5) This week I'm on a kosher, gluten-free, vegan, macrobiotic diet. 
That's nice.

6) Do you mind if instead of getting a hotel, I just crash at your parents' house the night before the wedding?
Two of my mothers' friends asked this. And I'm not sure how she kept her composure both times. Both friends are tenured professors (one at MIT and one at Tufts) and can afford a hotel for one night. The LAST thing she wants to have to deal with the night before/day of her only child's wedding is hosting guests and preparing brunches.

7) Are you excited for your wedding?
We've already been through this. Why ask the obvious? At my bachelorette party this weekend, we brainstormed snarky responses to this question. My favorite "no. I'm only getting married because my father owes a man a lot of money and this is his way of settling his debts."

Ending this post on a happier note. For all those of you who asked my second pair of wedding shoes for the reception, here they are:
Mopsy and Flopsy
Everyone tells you that you need two pairs of shoes for your wedding- the pretty pair for the ceremony, pictures, and the first dance, and then the comfortable pair for dancing the night away. Few things in this world are more comfortable (or cuter) than Mopsy and Flopsy. I thought my mother was going to have a heart attack when I told her I planned on wearing these under my wedding dress!


  1. Try to relax and enjoy. It is your day:) to be a princess. I wore ballet slippers under my gown. ( I was a dancer/teacher ) I brought some of my personality to the wedding.

  2. Congratulations and good luck! I'm sure your big day is going to be absolutely perfect! xo

  3. oh my word - that's so much to deal with leading up to the big day!!
    i would definitely start telling people "NO" when they ask if you're excited - who asks that question??
    i would say just keep flopsy and mopsy in the front of your mind and remember to "just keep swimming, just keep swimming" (like in finding nemo!)

  4. i am literally speechless. i dont know how you havent smacked some of these people already. thinking of you!

  5. breathe honey! it will be amazing. something does always go wrong but nothing that will be remembered by the guests!

  6. I can't believe it's almost here :) I remember back when it all began! hahaha...

    First, I've never contacted a bride and asked to sit anywhere or with anyone. That is completely rude. The day is not about you, it's about the bride. Personally, I would ignore any and all of their requests and just do whatever you were planning to. It reminds me of when you are hosting a cocktail party at your house, and in the last 30 minutes you are rushing around trying to get everything ready. And then your cell starts ringing. And it continues to rin, and beep from texts, and whatever, for the next 30 minutes. WTF people...something much bigger than you is taking place at hte moment. Sheesh!

    I think weddings really show you people's true character. The friends (both yours and your mother's) that are tacky and have no sense, versus those that are just so happy for you that they don't really care where they sit or with who. And are happy to pay for a hotel :)

    The second pair of shoes are fabulous. I know you are going to be so happy you have them after pictures, wedding, etc. Your feel are going to NEED them!

  7. love thos shoes:) Congratulations and remember to savor every moment of YOUR perfect day!

  8. #1 is just crazy! I can understand why she's still trying to find someone to have a wedding with! Enjoy your day because after it's all over, none of this will matter!

  9. This post made me LOL big time. Crazy people!

    Good luck and have fun! :)

  10. First--Runaway Rabbits are my fave. I showed with them at market years ago (when I was in the gift biz). I have three pair, including the fliphops. Great choice. Now--you need to just ignore everyone and their requests...and really...don't worry what they think. This is YOUR day! It's the BIGGEST party anyone is ever going to throw for YOU. Enjoy it! Lastly--How rude and self-absorbed for people to ask you of such things knowing you are stressed out as it is. Stop and enjoy it. It will be over faster than you can imagine.

  11. Ah the things I have to look forward to in a few months! Good luck with everything and just try to block out all the obnoxious things! You will have a wonderful day!!

  12. Hysterical. Truly. First, as a former bride. I need you to take a DEEP BREATH. Let people ask all the inane questions they want, let them have their concerns, fears, opinions, qualms. I could care less. So should you. And you are going to get the same annoying questions pre, during and post wedding. Thats how this thing works. People ask me almost daily, how married life is. Regardless, just breathe girly. Enjoy the day, smile at every moment (you never know when the camera is on u) and have a good time! As for a second pair of shoes, I went barefoot. Manolos are gorgeous, but they hurt, haha xxxooo