Wednesday, May 27, 2009

a wedding dilemma

Ladies, I need your advice here. Do you remember my friend JK that's getting married? The one whose shower I'm hosting? Well her wedding date is set for September 6, 2009. That is the Sunday of Labor Day Weekend. TLS and I had talked about me going to visit him over Labor Day Weekend since that would be less leave that he would have to take. Obviously, I can't be in both Detroit and London at once. So my choices right now are to:

1) Go to the wedding and go to England later on, will most likely have to be in October
2) Go to England for the week of Labor Day and not go to the wedding.

TLS is more of a fan of option #2. My question to all of you is- do you think that JK would be upset with me if I did this and didn't make it to her wedding? I really want to go but it doesn't seem very feasible right now since I already have to plane tickets that I need to buy, plus time off work, plus all of the cost of going to a wedding. What should I do?

The bride is not someone that I am incredibly close with. I am already spending several hundred dollars for her shower, which is why I'm wondering. I will not know anyone at the wedding and will have to buy another plane ticket and hotel room for this.


  1. Well, I would put it this way, every bride wants her wedding to be as important to her friends as it is to her. Would your decision to do what you rather do put a strain on your relationship? You'd only be waiting one more month. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. ;)

  2. I think the wedding is a sort of 'reward' for all your planning.....I mean you probably get to eat and drink for free, right? This wedding is a sure you feel about this guy come Septemberish is still t.b.d.

  3. Its up to you.... do you value this wedding? Depending on how I felt about the bride, I would go to the wedding if she was important to me and plan a different weekend to go to London.... weddings happen once.. but if you arent so close, then just do everything up until then.. xxoo

  4. It seems as though you do have a dilemna here....
    If it were ME, I would go to the wedding. This is your friend, and obviously if you are close enough to her to spend several hundred dollars on a shower for her then she would be hurt/offended that you aren't at her wedding. Trust me{because I found out the hard way} jeopardizing your relationship with your friend by skipping out on the wedding isn't worth it. I understand how much you want to be in London, but prior commitments{especially a wedding!} should make your trip wait til October! Like Pink Martini said - absence makes the heart grow fonder!
    I know, ultimately, you will do what is right for you!!!

  5. Are you hosting her shower because you are in the wedding? It sounds like you know her well if you are hosting her shower... I would say, go to the wedding and plan a trip for Columbus Day weekend to go to London. It's only a month later.

  6. Ok, I'm going against the grain here but I think it would be fine to kindly tell the Bride you're helping to host the shower becuase you want to do something special for her, but you just cannot be at the actual wedding. I guess I'm less into weddings that a lot of girls though.

  7. this is so tough!!
    I would probably go to the wedding (even tho I know you're anxious to see the boy). Since you're planning the shower I'm sure the bride is hoping/counting on seeing you there.
    Maybe if he has a bit more notice of you coming in October he'd be able to take off a couple more days?
    This really is a toughy tho

  8. A good friend of the Mr. hosted a shower for us but couldn't come to the wedding. We didn't mind a bit that she couldn't make it. We were so blessed that she wanted to give us a shower, there was no way we'd put up a fuss about her having other plans for the wedding. I hope your friend would understand the situation.

  9. If you can not go to the wedding and not feel bad about it, I wouldn't go. I agree with some of the other commenters that your friend would probably just be grateful for the shower and take your sincerest regrets for not being able to attend the wedding.

  10. I can't remember what your relationship with her is, and can't find it on your blog. So...I think that if she is a "forever" friend, and you will raise your children together and stuff you might should go. Otherwise, I would just tell her that you are working on finding YOUR future husband, and will need to miss her celebration to continue to investigate whether or not TLS could be the one :)