Thursday, April 23, 2009

you can't make this stuff up

I was born in the Soviet Union (back when it was still called the Soviet Union) where ballet was a big deal. By the time I left when I was 7.5, I had seen quite a few ballets with my family. One tradition that we had was that every winter, my parents would take me to go see The Nutcracker. As a result of this, I developed a soft spot in my heart for nutcrackers. Every year, for about 11 consecutive years, I would ask my mom to get me a nutcracker for Hannukah/New Years. Each year, the holidays would come and go and I was still nutcracker-less. I would ask my mom where my nutcracker was and her response was always "oh you were serious about that?" Gee mom, after 10+ years, you think you'd get the hint? When I told my ex (not schlong boy) about this his response was "why don't I just get you a nutcracker?" I told him that at this point, I needed my mom to get me one, it was a matter of principle. The following year, I realized that oh, mommy was never going to get me one, so I needed to take matters into my own hands. The Southern Starlet and her hubby are currently living in Germany (but not for much longer!) thanks to the Army, and when they went to a Christmas crafts fair in a town that is known for its nutcrackers, she asked me if I wanted any souvenirs. My response was yes please! Thanks to this lovely lady, I finally have a nutcracker standing on top of my dresser. (Nothing says "a Jew lives here" quite like having a red and green nutcracker, but no mezzuzah on your door does.) Why am I writing an entry in April about Christmas decorations, you may ask? Well I'll tell you why. I'm sitting at work and my phone rings. I pick it up and it's my mommy. (I should insert here that my mother has a long standing history of getting me epic fail gifts. A lof of the stuff that she gets me is actually nice and would make the perfect gift. For someone else. Every year, she tries to surprise me on my birthday, and every year the surprise comes in the form of- after 20+ years, my mom still doesn't know me at all.) So my mom is starting to think about what to get me for my birthday (both my mom and I like to plan/buy gifts months in advance). She goes "so dear, what do you think of me getting you a nutcracker for your birthday this year? You'll like that, right?" Thank you mommy. Maybe next year for my birthday, you can get me that California Blading Baby that I wanted 18 years ago. I love you mom.

13 comments:

  1. So, even though she's 10 years late, I'd take the nutcracker! My dad collects nutcrackers - we get him one (or four) every year for christmas. Now they nearly outnumber the christmas tree decorations! I think this is an excellent opportunity to start a new collection!!!!!

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  2. moms are so funny. that's so great that you got to go to the ballet. Did you see the Bolshoi and Moscow companies? I actually had the opportunity to dance with them in the Nutcracker a few times

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  3. omg... haha.. I saw the Nutcracker when I was little with my dad and loved it.... awww xxooo

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  4. I'm glad you finally got your nutcracker! Now you can start a collection with a really funny story behind it..

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  5. Yes, take your mom's nutcracker. Friedrich is getting lonely, I'm sure. :)

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  6. I think this post is supposed to make me laugh, but is just makes me sad. Is that wrong? I grew up without a mom. I also have a baby girl... I hope I am able to buy for her- her 'nutcracker'.

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  7. Parents tend to be the epic fail sometimes. With my momma it is now a common phrase to say "So listen to what momma did this time..." April is a big time for birthdays around here. Daddy - 1st, me-12th and oldest brother - 23rd. So momma called me on the 14th last year and said "Oh Ms. Kate I feel so bad - your brother's birthday was a few days ago and I totally forgot to call him." FAIL

    Oh and PS I love nutcrackers as well.

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  8. Hysterical! I'm glad that after all of these years, you finally got your nutcracker. Moms try so hard!

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  9. hysterical. i don't know how i missed this post. freakin hysterical.

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  11. My family always did that, too -- they'd insist I make a "wish list" of things I wanted (so I'd put things I really wanted but just couldn't bring myself to buy for myself)...and then they'd always go "off-list" and buy me the most random stuff EV-ERRRR. Congrats on finally getting your nutcracker!

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  13. This story is great. I love the Nutcracker too and try to get to it every year. My girls have danced with the Moscow Ballet (kids are included in the show to sell tickets to a $75 show that has a back drop and dance stars that smoke like chimneys-great role models). My girls have also danced in a high dollar, local production.
    I can related to the Nutcraker in your Jewish home. My son has a Starwars Steinbach Nutcracker. Nothing says Christmas better than the "Force".

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