Thank you so much for your thoughtful gift of the dildo that was inspired by you. I appreciate the fact that the sex toy company only gave you one free one, and you felt the need to send it to me. I also appreciate the fact that you were considerate enough to send me lubricant samples along with it. Thank you so much. Your kindness really is astounding. I understand that you would want me to take you back and give you another chance, but that will not be happening. Also the next time you want to try to buy my love, try saying it with flowers or cupcakes, not sex toys. Thank you once again for your kind gift. I will be sure to think of you all those times when I don't use it but mock you for it at happy hour with my girlfriends.
X's and O's
think Emily Post would approve?