Monday, April 27, 2009

Dearest Ex boyfriend

Thank you so much for your thoughtful gift of the dildo that was inspired by you. I appreciate the fact that the sex toy company only gave you one free one, and you felt the need to send it to me. I also appreciate the fact that you were considerate enough to send me lubricant samples along with it. Thank you so much. Your kindness really is astounding. I understand that you would want me to take you back and give you another chance, but that will not be happening. Also the next time you want to try to buy my love, try saying it with flowers or cupcakes, not sex toys. Thank you once again for your kind gift. I will be sure to think of you all those times when I don't use it but mock you for it at happy hour with my girlfriends.

X's and O's
-MRM

think Emily Post would approve?

16 comments:

  1. I think Emily Post would have passed out when the dildo arrived in the mail :)

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  2. haha so funny. Something out of a movie funny.

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  3. ahahah, this is just too funny!

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  4. hahahahahahahaha! Too funny!

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  5. Awesome, I love it. I've heard of a lot of guys getting dildos made from a mold of their parts lately - what a disturbing trend!

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  6. I think you really should write this in a card and mail it off to him. Especially considering he contacted you over the weekend. He gets a 10 out of 5 for grossness.

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  7. Oh. My. Word. I didn't realize he sent you one. I hope this doesn't upset you, but he's beginning to sound like he didn't get all the french fries in his Happy Meal, if you know what I mean...
    tp

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  8. hahaha I think we finally have a winner.

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  9. You should cut it in half and mail it back to him. :-)

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