So last night, after finding out that my ex boyfriend was used as a schlong model, I decided that the best idea was for me to consume a lot of wine. After this, I proceeded to put on my favorite pajamas (read- charity tshirt from a walk) and go to bed. And here is the result of this lethal combination:
I was living in an apartment with several of my old roommates from college who had all become The Girls Next Door. They did not look like my old roommates, nor like the Girls Next Door, yet somehow I knew it was them. I have to say that whoever designed our apartment clearly was bottom of his/her class at architecture school because the design was just awful. (Oh wait, that was technically me.) There was a giant hot tub in our living room and our linen closet was really deep and we actually pondered taking out some of the shelves in it so that we could put a washing machine in there. (Apparently the Girls Next Door do their own laundry.) I went into the linen closet to see if I could make the change to the closet by myself (clearly no one is more ideal for the job of converting a closet than the genius who thought to put a hot tub in the living room) and by some twist of Narnian proportions, I walked through the closet and into a hibachi grill. In the grill, all of the Girls, playmates, and bunnies were there doing a promotion of sorts. They were all running around in their thonged and sequined glory. I was wearing a Ball and Buck black long sleeve tee, a pair of loose fitting casual jeans, and flip flops. And zero makeup. With all that, someone mistook me for a playmate and told me I had to do the promotion with the girls. So there I was, fully clothed, and standing next to someone in a turquoise G-string body suit with gold sequins on it. I have no idea what this means, but I promise free cookies to whomever can decipher this for me.
If you would like to order your own Ball and Buck tee, you have until midnight on Wednesday to get 20% off your order with code WHALEFLIPFLOPS ED. Take it from me, they are the perfect thing to wear when cavorting with Hef's girlfriends.